Spent

I received an email with full of sad news this morning. 

It wasn't directed towards me with the sadness. And for the most part, it had little affect me or my children.

But it was sad nonetheless.

The message shared about a young boy (the age of my own boys) who had passed away in a tragic car accident.

When sharing the news with my boys, because they all went to school with the child, i was tearful, heartbroken, and, sorrowful myself.

They also were sad, but it seemed to affect me more than them, even though I never shared recess with this child.

I could't understand why I was crying.

But after thinking about it for a while this morning, and monitoring my own reactions to the people in my house, and reviewing my own reactions to things in recent days, I realized...

I am emotionally exhausted.

Between pandemic responses and reactions, injuries, inability to "get away from it all", no relief from normal stresses - let alone compounded ones, and the irritability of society on general...

I am emotionally exhausted.

As a result, I cry over a grieving family, i mourn the loss of a child I never knew, I can't hold myself together when I have to discipline my children (always toeing the line between raising my children and making the most of my limited time with them).

I am tired people.

And if you are too, just know that you are not alone. We can, and should talk about this.